Of Fairy Tales and False Starts
by kikis2
Summary: Quinn Fabray has never fallen in love, because Lucy was born loving Rachel Berry. Quinn's first day at McKinley. Twice. Faberry. R/F/Q/P


**A/N**: I'm going to call this an alternating universe. It's a little jumbled, but I hope you like.

**Warning**: Spoilers for "Born This Way". Femslash.

}{

(_This is their story._

_Even though it shouldn't be._)

Rachel rushes towards the music room. She's already running late and it's only the first day of the term.

There's no warning, nothing, but suddenly her ankle hooks around an unmovable object and the hallway floor rushes towards her face.

She barely catches herself before the tiles meet her nose. Her music sheets fly across the hall.

Slowly she pulls herself up with her battered arms and trembling legs.

Puck chuckles like he hasn't already tripped her in the exact same manner three times this year.

Rachel turns around to glare. She really wants to inform Puck that his pranks are childish and unimaginative—the work of someone with an IQ outmatched by their shoe size. Instead, all she can see is beautiful blonde girl, smiling weakly as Finn shakes his head at Puck.

The girl doesn't look her way, but Rachel thinks she spots the tiniest hint of fear as hazel eyes look towards her, but not _at_ her.

Rachel picks up her paper, listening with half an ear.

"Hey. I'm Finn."

He gives one of those uneven smiles that always made Rachel melt.

"I'm Lu—" There's a tiny pause and the blonde's eyes fly wide. "I'm Quinn Fabray."

}{

If she could save all the tears she cried throughout high school, she knows most of them would belong to Quinn Fabray.

The sweet, slightly nervous girl she first saw from McKinley's filthy floor who stuttered her own name disappears with every awful remark and biting insult. Something colder, less human, is left in her place.

Yet, Rachel can almost feel the _whys_ of their relationship.

Not the hatred Quinn feels for her, but the weird fascination. The moth to the flame, the Earth to the sun—whatever you want to call it, she can't leave Quinn alone any more than Quinn could leave her alone.

There are brief moments, when their eyes catch, or their bodies brush, when Rachel truly believes, if she could just concentrate hard enough, she'd understand why she and Quinn were bound together so cruelly.

}{

Rachel rarely prays.

She believes wholeheartedly that God helps those who help themselves, but when Finn breaks up with her, he looks at Quinn like she's the most perfect thing in the world.

He never looked at her like that.

Before she can stop herself, her eyes slam shut she prays with all her soul.

_Dear God, please make Quinn Fabray ugly._

She almost feels bad God answers her prayers with cruel flyers posted on the school notice boards.

She takes down all the posters she can find in the east wing of the school.

Maybe she studies them too hard, or maybe she's just lonely.

Either way, Rachel stares into "Lucy Caboosey's" familiar hazel eyes and knows that she should have met this girl.

She has to remind herself she already has.

And one Fabray is enough.

}{

Rachel never had high expectations for high school.

Still, she thought she had the chance to win the boy, or the friends, or even the tolerance of her peers _just_ once.

Maybe she could have.

But, instead, Quinn wins everything and, in the end, there's just not enough for the both of them.

}{

Rachel learns one thing.

In high school, there are no fairy tales.

}{

(_This is not their story._

_Even though it could have been._)

She walks with her head held high, even as her legs shake and her mind is blank with fear.

Something will go wrong.

It always does when she's involved.

She's too busy trying to find her locker and be as unobtrusive as possible to focus on everything in front of her. There are so many kids that she can't see five feet in front of her. It seems like absolutely everyone is in a pair or group. She's sure they're staring at her. Maybe it's because she's alone or because her knee length dress doesn't quite fit in, or maybe they can see the ghost of fat lingering around her new body. She has to resist the temptation to hide her face behind her hair, and tug at the bottom of her dress,

Three of what must be the school's cheerleaders walk past her, tiny red skirts swirling around their toothpick thighs, secretive smiles alerting the world to the fact that they're better than them.

Her farce fumbles. She ducks her head, shoulders curling inwards as she doubles her pace.

She only looks up when the numbers on the lockers get close to hers. Right beside her locker there's two boys. One is cute and lanky, the other has a cruel smirk and a Mohawk.

The tall one glances at her and his lips curve slowly into a lopsided grin.

She doesn't smile back. Too many times she's smiled back, only to realise that no boy would be smiling at _her_, and there's someone far more worthy standing right behind her.

She thinks she's right when the other boy pops his foot out into the path of the hallway.

But something is off. He looks like the type of monster who's been tripping a geek a day since he started walking, so he should have realised his timing was off and she'd spot him.

She glances down the hall and sees a tiny brunette charging towards them at full speed.

She wants to shout a warning, a word, _anything_, but she's so used to trying to avoid attention that her mouth won't work.

She makes a weak sound in the back of her throat that no one could possibly hear.

But someone must.

The brunette glances up and meets her eyes, like there's not dozens of people surrounding them.

And for a moment there isn't.

The loud gossip, the minor scuffles, and obtrusive laughs dim to a distant echo. The chaos slows and everything fades.

Everything dulls except one girl. One girl who becomes crystalized and shining in her vision, a brilliant force which looms huge and all-consuming in her mind. She can't take her gaze away from those wide brown eyes, but it's okay, because those wide brown eyes can't seem to look away either.

The girl smiles brilliantly.

Lucy smiles back.

(It didn't even occur to her that the smile could be for anyone else.)

The brunette glances down and steps over the large boot in front of her, not even looking at the boy it belongs to.

She stops in front of her and beams again. Lucy thinks her jaw might get tired, because she can't _not _smile back at this girl.

"Hi! I'm Rachel Berry. I've memorised every grade's school photos, so I have to assume that you must be a transfer student," Rachel informs her in one breath.

"I'm Lu—" _Quinn. Quinn. You're Quinn now! _"I'm Lucy Fabray," she murmurs breathily.

She should be horrified that she's failed her second chance so horribly so early, but she doesn't. For some reason she doesn't feel the need to be Quinn in front of Rachel.

Rachel nods happily. "That name suits you. It's beautiful too."

In her experience, compliments are patronizing lies, or cruel remarks from her family, designed to remind her of how awful she used to look. This one makes her heart flicker, and her whole body tingle.

"Would you allow me to be your personal guide for the day?" Rachel asks enthusiastically. She doesn't expect a positive reply, because she's never got one before.

She's an optimist, not insane.

"Fuck, Berry! Would you lay off? Can't you dial back the desperation till first period?" The boy with the Mohawk spits. "Some of us just ate breakfast, and watching you trying to trap new meat into your web of crazy is gonna' make me hurl."

Lucy bites her lip. If he were talking to her, she'd probably be running away in tears by now.

Rachel meets the boy's eyes squarely, and there's no anger or hurt, just pure intensity, like she's trying to see straight through to his soul. She talks without looking back, "The first thing you have to know about McKinley, Lucy, is that this place is an absolute zoo and Noah Puckerman insists on being just another trained gorilla, dragging his knuckles along the ground, hoping to be tossed another banana."

Puck sneers, but is too distracted by his friend's laughter to say anything back.

"I'd love it if you showed me around," Lucy answers finally. She doesn't want to risk the boys scorn, but she can't possibly let Rachel go.

She's rewarded with the shiniest smile yet.

Rachel opens her locker for her while Finn Hudson introduces himself.

He seems nice enough, even with Puck glowering over his shoulder.

}{

They're the four most unlikely friends in the world.

From her first day, Lucy can't bear to part from Rachel. She almost understands what Puck meant when he talked about Rachel's web of crazy, because she has been trapped, she just doesn't want to leave. Lucy's spent her whole like in the back of the class, at the edge of the cafeteria, on the peripheral of her own home, but Rachel's rambling monologues drive away even the memory of silence.

From the first time he saw her, Finn can't look away from Lucy Fabray. She's the most beautiful girl in the world. Rachel scares him a little at first, but every now and then she says something he can understand and he realises she's actually kind of cool. In her own way.

From age five, Puck's always followed Finn. He'd stop, but he doesn't know how. Lucy's nice enough and Rachel wears fuck all clothes, so it's not exactly a bad deal. It doesn't escape his notice that they're all following Berry's Crazy Express to Loserville, but whatever. He'd probably miss Finn's dopey-ass grin and Lucy's B-cups if he jumped off now.

}{

At fourteen, it's not her first sleepover, but it is the first sleepover where she's the only guest and her invite wasn't courtesy of some pushy parents.

Rachel shows off her musicals, her music, and her trophy case, which is near ready to buckle.

There's a million photos of Rachel. Her first pageant, her first dance class, her first play—laid out proudly for all to see.

Lucy's smile is brittle.

Her old photos are tucked away in a locked box under her bed.

(She wanted to burn them, but looking at them long enough to toss into a fire was too hard.)

They talk all night. Mostly about class and boys.

Lucy says she's never been kissed before.

Rachel admits she used to kiss Puck behind temple after Sunday school.

Lucy wants to ask, but she never would.

It doesn't matter, because Rachel rarely waits to be asked anyway.

She calls it practice, but Lucy can't imagine anything more real.

}{

She doesn't know why everything comes to her so easily at McKinley.

Rachel laughs at this.

(It's the first unpleasant sound Lucy's ever heard from Rachel's mouth.)

For the first time in her life, people want to be her friend. Boys try to make her laugh and girls do anything just to be included in her conversations.

Rachel is saved from the majority of bullying only because of her association with Lucy and Finn (who are popular) and Puck (who is hot and scary). For reasons only Lucy can't understand, nobody outside of their small group can stand Rachel.

She tries to pull Rachel to the top with her, but as small as she is, she won't be moved.

Finn whispers into her ear and she rushes to the bathroom.

Rachel's bent over the sink, blue and wet.

Lucy washes her clean and gives her a sweater to cover the stains on her shirt. She holds Rachel as she sniffles and rages.

"I'm sorry, Rach."

Lucy's sorry that Rachel got slushied, but more sorry that everyone likes her too much, and Rachel not enough.

"It doesn't matter." Rachel says furiously. "It _doesn't_. Not when I have you."

}{

The Cheerio's ask her to join. Once she would have wanted nothing more. Now she could think of nothing worse.

She says no.

(Rachel hates the Cheerios.)

Finn asks her out. She doesn't want him and never has. She could think of nothing worse.

She says yes.

(Rachel loves Finn.)

}{

At fifteen, Lucy loses her virginity.

She tells Puck he's her first.

He doesn't believe her.

(He's smarter than his hair would suggest.)

Her first time is with Rachel.

They're on her living room floor, practicing again. Her dads are asleep down the hall, so they both bite back giggles. The silky, cream fur of the rug tickles her nostrils as Rachel lines her bare back with butterfly kisses, and the occasional brush of her lips.

She doesn't know whether this is the best or worst thing she's ever felt. Her body's burning up and she wants it to stop and never stop.

Rachel traces the dimples in her lower back then holds her hips as her lips and tongue follow in her finger's wake.

Lucy digs her fingers into the carpet as her hips jerk forward involuntarily. She makes a forlorn sound when Rachel moves away.

"Was that okay?" the brunette asks uncertainly.

Lucy rolls onto her back to stare at her friend. Rachel's fully dressed even though she'd already convinced Lucy to take her shirt off.

She can't answer. There's nothing okay about what they're doing. Her daddy would call her a sinful whore, and Rachel Satan's instrument.

Still, she stares up at Rachel, _wanting_ with all her heart.

She can't voice the words.

But she doesn't have to.

Rachel slides between her thighs like she's always belonged.

It's silent and wrong, and beautiful enough to be worth the fire and brimstone.

}{

She pushes Rachel away far and fast.

She can live without heaven. She doesn't know if she can live without her father's love.

Rachel stares at her day in and day out. She corners her in the locker room, and hounds her down the halls.

Rachel traps her in an empty class.

"I'm sorry, Lucy! I'm sorry! It won't happen again. Just—Just don't hate me!"

She shoves her out of the way and bolts down the hall before Rachel can see her tears.

(Lucy could never be sorry about what they did.)

}{

She starts hanging out with Santana and Brittany who are surprisingly good company. They laugh about everything all the time. Everything feels light and easy. It's never felt that way with Rachel.

Finn follows her, like she thinks she wants.

Puck and Rachel are on their own.

She watches them in World History.

Puck smirks slow and dark.

Rachel gives him the smile that used to be hers.

}{

Her mother redecorates her room. It's all white and blues now.

The boxes from under her bed somehow find their way to her vanity table. Lucy Caboosey stares back at her maliciously, threatening to destroy her fragile existence.

She drinks cheap wine with Puck and they have sex in the back of his truck.

She doesn't feel guilty.

Puck was never right for Rachel.

Now they both know it.

}{

She's pregnant and alone at sixteen.

All she has is Puck's obligatory presence.

Rachel cries when she tells her the truth and can't bear to look at her way anymore.

Lucy would be angry, but her best friend looks like she just had her heart torn out.

She surprises Rachel at her home, knowing Rachel won't turn her away in front of her fathers.

They both sit in the lounge and stare at the cream rug.

"What do you want?"

"My best friend."

Want isn't even close to accurate. She _needs_ Rachel with every beat of her heart, with every molecule of her being.

"I'm not sure you have one anymore."

She would cry, but she'd shed all her tears alone in a bathroom with a twelve dollar pregnancy test. "Don't say that unless you mean it!" she yells hotly, wanting to slap the brunette in front of her. "You forgave Puck! You weren't even a couple!"

"Puck didn't betray me!" Rachel shoots back, just as vicious. "You knew I liked him and you didn't care. You took him from me the same way you take everything!"

"So this is because I'm popular and you're not? You're jealous. Is that it?" Lucy asks coldly. She'd always worried about this: Rachel resenting her.

Rachel glares back. "No. I'm not jealous. I'm just…_sad_. Do you know why I never cared that I wasn't popular?" she asks, not expecting an answer. "It's because I thought _you _loved me. What did it matter if everyone loved you? Because you only loved me.

"Rachel…" she whispers. There doesn't seem to be anything appropriate to say.

"You did your best to share everything you had, but then—then you had sex with me. And you left me. You didn't even care. All I had left was Puck." Rachel glares her down. "Did you hate me that much, just for seducing you, that you couldn't even leave me one friend?"

She lets Rachel have Finn.

It's the least she can do.

She doesn't know when the boys became the weapons and spoils of a war that has no winners.

}{

When she's four months pregnant she finally works up the courage to tell her parents.

She'd like to say she was disappointed in them, but deep down she never expected any different.

She throws her things into a bag, imagining she's being kicked out for an entirely different reason.

The right reason.

(_Rachel_.)

On her first night at the Puckerman's she breaks down, sobbing and mumbling incoherently. Puck tries to hug her and she hits him. "I don't want you! I _wan't_—"

She can't say it.

Puck rubs his reddened cheek, looking suitably pissed off. "Yeah, well, she's not fucking here, is she?"

She only cries more. "I'm sorry."

Puck just nods, a muscle in his jaw twitching.

He spends the rest of the hour hiding in the bathroom, talking on his phone.

She skips school the next day to stay in Puck's bed, wearing her pink pyjamas.

Rachel breezes in with her usual enthusiasm. "Aren't you packed, yet?"

"What are you talking about?" Maybe Rachel's presence is affecting her mind.

"_Noah_," Rachel hisses in complaint. "You're moving in with me for the foreseeable future. I convinced my fathers last night that this was the appropriate course of action after Noah informed me that your current environment might lead to excessive stress."

Lucy looks at her incredulously before wrapping her arms around Rachel's neck.

It's an uncomfortable five months.

It's not until Beth's born that Rachel finally softens. Lucy knows Rachel cried just as much as she did when Beth was taken away.

Rachel forgives her, but nothing feels the way it used to.

}{

She's seventeen when she admits to herself that she's in love with Rachel Berry.

She's with Puck and Rachel's with Finn.

Sometimes in glee they catch each other staring.

There's so many people between them now, but all Lucy wants is to find her way to Rachel.

There's only one way she can think of.

_I love you_.

If she could say the words, she could have Rachel. Rachel would fight for her, for them.

She tries to catch Rachel in one of her free periods, but she never makes it past the doors of the auditorium.

In the front row Rachel straddles Finn's lap, kissing her way down his chest.

She leaves when Rachel's hands stray to his fly.

There's a moment where she hates Finn, but it fades, and she knows the only one she has to blame is herself.

}{

Her mother wants her to move back in, but she's not ready to leave the safety of Rachel's home.

She has her best friend and nothing will make her give that up.

In a pre-emptive strike, Lucy hands over the old green box that hides her past.

She never wants Rachel to think she's keeping secrets.

Shame heats her face as the brunette stares at Lucy Caboosey.

Rachel tilts her head.

"I think I have the same sweater."

Lucy laughs, a lighter sound than she's ever made.

}{

She has her own room, but she spends most night in Rachel's bed with Rachel's body pressed tightly into hers, or with Rachel's arm slung low over her hips.

It's a fitting torture.

She lies awake just so she can savour the feeling of Rachel in her arms.

"What are you thinking about?" Rachel whispers the way everyone does in the dark.

Lucy looks towards her. She can only make out Rachel's profile. Not that she needs to see it. She knows Rachel's face as well as her own. Better probably.

"The future," Lucy lies.

They're seniors now. Maybe they should be thinking about it.

She can literally _hear_ Rachel's smile. "Is it good or bad?"

She doesn't know, but she leans over and kisses Rachel to find out.

Rachel cups her face between her small, capable hands and deepens the kiss till they're both breathless and giddy.

"I—" The words she needs to say dissolve in her fear.

Rachel kisses her again.

And Lucy knows she never had to say the words, because Rachel always knew them first.

She says them anyway.

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

They don't make love. The boys have suffered enough for mistakes that weren't their own.

Rachel kisses the scars on her stomach that Beth left and the ones over her heart that only she can see.

Rachel makes a million promises about how good their future will be together.

}{

They leave the day after they graduate. There are no white horses or knights in shining armour, just a Boeing 737 and two tickets to New York.

}{

This would be Lucy's fairy tale.

If only it were true.

}{

Oh her first day of college, Quinn Fabray will saunter across the courtyard.

She can't understand the campus map, but she's not nervous. The last of her insecurities withered along with Lucy. Maybe it was giving away Beth, her parents throwing her out, Finn never loving her enough—it doesn't really matter. Lucy's gone and Quinn is left.

She's too busy to see everyone around her, but that's okay.

Everyone sees her.

A dramatic gasp captures her attention.

She looks up to see a small brunette snatching her textbook from two boys attempting a game of Frisbee with it.

Usually she would laugh, it's probably a condition of her cheerleading scholarship that she laugh at the misfortune of others, but instead she makes a small sound of protest.

It's tiny and inconsequential, but Rachel hears.

Their eyes meet.

Quinn's world stops turning only five years too late.

Rachel beams, heart stopping and perfect.

There's no reason she should. They're not friends and they never have been.

Quinn doesn't understand it.

(Though, if she were here, Lucy would.)

Quinn smiles back anyway.

}{

Quinn and Rachel get their fairy tale.

But it won't be today.

}{


End file.
